Something I don’t know

Time cannot be mentioned to count back when I’m with you.I’m getting a little change to be soft after I met with you.They may say it’s because of love but I don’t want to introduce what’s love to me.I’m just staying and feeling so much fun with you in crazy.Yes,you don’t ask me for love and I’m not also ready for it.The only universal truth is like how much I feel happy and sweet while we are talking online.You bring me back to bear my smiles and take my soul into laughing so much time.We both have once felt down of heart-broken and I guess that doesn’t let me escape for joy in love again yet.Well,I don’t know what I’m going to do or say about feeling on you.All I can say is I’m so happy to chat with you .

 

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MY RED CARPET

There was a little matter with all mess with. It was last night. I saw a red carpet flying in the sky among the clouds. I got surprised. Then I chased it. .. It took a couple of hours for that. I thought that was the signature of what my tomorrow would come. I don’t know how come though, I wish I could meet it sooner.

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Here the tomorrow is! I see everything  still  fine with the whole morning. So, when  will my super surprising case happen to me? Or will that be a very terrible matter to me which is like the storm probably hidden behind the silent breeze? I am wondering why  I don’t met it yet…

That is the reason how I make my time waste.  I don’t know what the tomorrow or the near future will bring to me? Because it is the something that I don’t know by myself and it exactly should be. I needn’t worry about what is going to happen to me. Yes, nothing is those should be under control everytime. I am the different from others so that it is impossible that I always have to try to be even slightly the same with those who are on their way own. I have my own way so. I do.

I lost my way mostly in my past by knowing nothing precisely with the inner me. I made many mistakes to prioritize the me who always wants only the fancy life without any thoughts of the reality. However I believe myself that I can save me even if I go through the wrong place. I don’t know why some beginnings introduced me very nicely and some endings didn’t. Perhaps, it is called life where we are in. We can’t count the stars but we can see them. We have the chance to feel their beauty over the black blackground. So does the life. I can’t count my future problems or any good luck but I can accept them and fix myself on the right track to be better and more. Time all over the life I have been receiving can be the best instructor with the good lessons to me.

Therefore, I say myself ; “Hey, you are the one I can trust for the whole of my existence. So you have to be fearless, strong, different and creative much more than before.”

I got my inner me’s reply as below –

“ As I love you so much and care about you, I can be your dream maker and also be the enemy if you don’t love me back in the right way.”

Then, I and me are smiling all together.

Oh! My red carpet is coming now with a smile …

 

03:15 PM

13.05.2018

SCINTILLATION

It is dark inside for a part of life.

It knocked to be light again.

No more hopes even came out with me though.

I even think about you.

You may think about me.

That is the moments we cannot make our own?

It happens… It does!

I could not be real to most people and neither could you.

We both can never be different for that character either.

Let it happen on its way own.

Don’t rupture  it never and ever even once.

Cause it reflected off us in bright sparkles of light.

You don’t know much about me quite well.

I don’t know about you the same.

We can’t lie we want each together heart.

Stars in the sky are meant to be countless.

Less of words are supposed to be humble in harmless.

Don’t talk pretty much cause we know each other hurt.

Wishing you all the best is all I want.

Seeing the way you frankly smile is what I love.

Monica

How’s Life?

How’s life? Saying sounds ok.

Odor of life doesn’t much let me see the easy.

Which is why I tried, failed, kept on then keep it up

I can’t be satisfied myself what I have been seeking from

Sometimes I feel like I make different to happen

The rest, I’m sitting alone and thinking off heart.

Some parts of memories still terrify

So afraid, So let them forget, then even some real happiness go along with, I don’t …

I got a word FAMILY from someone a couple of dates ago

Oh, been a long time I am not hugged by dwell.

What have I been thriving for?

What am I holding with?

What things are going along with me then?

No ideas…

Just hoping the better sparkle

Am I that crazy who forgets the present I knock myself?

Not like that.

I am on this my own way still and still

I believe one day I can surely find my life meaning out.

I’m just a life traveller.

 

 

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HOME VS HOUSE

We become like the strangers. Mother and I

I miss some of my beautiful childhood time with her. Why she that changed now?

I have no clue which made her be like that and why these two or three weeks  drag so long. I want my home back, not a house! I miss my home so bad. I am now an only human being who is standing in the middle of the dead land. All around me are the ghosts. We are not touching each other in real. We not feel anymore in true. We not even think anything how. That is how I look like.

I am able to feel better on my way but I need a warm smile of my mom sometimes. Yes, I need her. I miss her so bad. A dream that I had a couple of nights ago was terrible. I was begging her not to leave us for him. But she replied she could not even lose him anymore so that she had to go. I was sobbing there alone. I don’t know.

I don’t want this time my dream will come true. All recent dreams became true though, please something or somebody, please don’t let it happen.

Alright, I will be alright soon. Yes, everything is going to happen when time says. I have to accept what the truth is.

I am alright then. I can do it! Just smile!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Dear Me,

I can’t mention how much I love you and care about you. I have been being together with you since Mom gave a birth to me. Oh .. I love to exit in your smile and even in your cry. You are the most beautiful part of being me that I have ever met of. You are my only hope to struggle against the whole world for what you want and trust to do. Well, I’m sorry for making super mistakes which even to let you die on the young age. And I am truly sorry that I have ever blamed you when I feel insecured and bitterness came through me, it’s not your fault I knew though. I am pretty sorry making you get lonely and sometimes changing you towards evil side. However, you know, you deserve them all. You can be everything just as the way you want which to be the angel or evil. Lol…
I precisely don’t know why you still breathe in and out though, I can certainly tell what the type of life you are fond of living. There is no matter how many people look down on your dreams and wishes by saying like you were a crazy and imaginary girl. The universal truth is what you strongly believe to be in life can only lead you to the top you remarked. That’s all, nothing’s more. I believe in you. You are my wings which make me fly to the sky.
I’d like to thank you for your big support that drives to go ahead. I did mistakes and yes ..some were done by accidently but some were not. I will keep going on.
“No Pain, No Gain”

 

 

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LOVE LIFE

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One day, we meet. One day, we are aparted. It is how life happens to us. Sometimes, we leave and are left without touching Goodbye. Sometimes, we take time to smile on Goodbyes to each. Everything cannot be always stable.

We are moving. And yes, things are moving. We only need to flow into what life gives us. Sometimes, we also need to make something happen because we love to figure it out. Each of single moment that we go with is none of automatical moment. All are in purpose. We see, hear, touch, taste, feel and smell in our ways of life. It is all by life.
I extremely appreciate each moment I receive from this life. I am no one of the rest of people in the world. And this matter can drive me towards what real me. The me I see today will precisely make the me tomorrow happen.

I Love Today.

Monica

BE YOU

There is nothing more important than being you. I found out this saying ” No one is you and that is your power.” from somewhere when I got myself online. First, I had no idea what that author wanted to mention. Then, I took such time and realized how deep it means to me in life. I am myself and it is quite important to know it. If you accept yourself from inner mind, there is no matter how other see you. That is you. You are the only person can change everything for your pathway of life. Believe in yourself. Make yourself happy and trustworthy. Everything you want is on the way towards you. I love you.